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    5/1/2006

    想你,念你

    睡不着,不知道是因为闷热的天气,还是低落的心情。
    已经好久好久没那么地寂寞,那么地害怕自己一个人。
    也许,我一直都在欺骗自己,一直都在催眠自己。。。
    我一直告诉我自己,我要坚强,我要独立,我要开心,不可以让我身边的人再为我担心。
    其实我自己知道,我的心有个填补不了的伤口,它大部分时间会安静地沉睡,可有时也会静悄悄地觉醒。
    每当它觉醒时,它会带动我的每一条感情线,让我渐渐情绪失控,让我不再理智,不再坚强。
    人总是有软弱的时候,在软弱时,总希望有人陪,希望有个肩膀可以依靠。
    可以让我依靠的肩膀在哪里?可以让我感到安心的人在哪里?
    为什么要在让我得到后,又要让我失去?让我觉得我身在天堂,却又把我推向地狱。
    我不停地问我自己,虽然我知道没有人能给我答案,但我还是忍不住地一遍又一遍地问自己。
    问自己为什么会发生这种事,为什么会发生在我身上,为什么,为什么。。。
    没有答案的问题,不管问多少次,还是没有答案。
    祥,我好想你,好念你。我无法控制我自己,我只能靠着细细咀嚼你我的回忆,来平复几近崩溃的心情。
    祥,我已经很努力地过着没有你的生活,但是如果有的选择,我希望我的生活里有你的陪伴。

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